The Icelandic Phallological Museum
A Shrine to Phallic History, Biology, and Art
A short tour through the Icelandic Phallological Museum, a real place in Iceland devoted to the preservation and study of the penis.
Most elementary schools and high school take their students on trip to museums to broaden their understanding of the mysteries of the natural world; the chances are pretty slim, however, that any have visited the Icelandic Phallological Museum. It is a museum wholly devoted to the penis.
The Penis in Ancient Times
Sigurður Hjartarson, a former history teacher, is the founder and director of the museum. His goal, according to the website, was to create a haven where people can “undertake serious study into the field of phallology in an organized, scientific fashion.” Phallology is the study of the penis, and of its place in history, art, and society.
In ancient times, the penis was revered and worshipped as an integral part of the reproductive process. The ancient Romans promoted soldiers based on penis size while the ancient Egyptians believed that the Nile was made fertile after Set, the god of the underworld, killed his brother and dropped his penis into the river. Archeologists have unearthed thousands of phallic statues and talismans created by early civilizations throughout the world, celebrating fertility and manhood. In recent centuries however, the penis has been reviled and branded as taboo. This museum attempts to change all that.
A Tour Through the Phallological Museum
The museum doesn’t look like much from the outside, just another building like so many others in Húsavík, Iceland. A sharp-eyed observer will quickly spot the penis-shaped sign hanging above the door, and further inspection reveals two large round stones sitting on a base, with a long cylindrical stone slab resting above them. These two simple clues should confirm that you’ve come to the right place.
Once inside the main hall of the museum, you’ll notice the exhibits erected along the walls of the room. Hanging above these glass cases are specimens that the museum has collected over the years, all stuffed and mounted for easy viewing. Some of these specimens are decades old, but all have been expertly handled and preserved by the museum’s staff.
Phallic Specimens
The museum’s aim is to gather phallic specimens from every mammal in Iceland. As expected, the two-hundred and forty-five specimens they’ve collected so far showcase a large cross-section of Icelandic species. Some of the larger penises in the collection include specimens from humpback and sperm whales, and a massive member from the blue whale, the world’s largest animal. On the smaller side, we find preserved penises from members of shrews, mice, and a few unlucky rats. No human penis is on display soon, but that will soon change, as Páll Arason, a 92 year old man, has signed an affidavit donating his penis to the museum, presumably after he’s done using it.
The most unique finds, however, are those in the “folk-lore” section of the museum. Here we find preserved specimens of what the museum claims are elves, trolls, and sea monsters. Among the sea monsters is a sea- howler, a merman, and a kelpie, which is a shape-changing water horse that lured people to watery graves in Celtic and Scandinavian legends.
Rounding out these strange creatures is the penis of an “Icelandic Christmas Lad,” whose penis, according to the museum’s website, was donated by a former mayor of Reykjavík. It is still unclear whether an Icelandic Christmas Lad refers to one of the elves which tradition says helps Santa Claus prepare toys for all the world’s children for Christmas, or if Santa has yet been notified that his staff is one member short.
Visiting the Museum
The museum is open May through September from noon until 6 P.M. Group reservations can be booked ahead of time by calling the museum at any of the following numbers: 011-354-566-8668, 011-354-868 7966 or 011-354-561 6663 and the address is: Hedinsbraut 3a, 640 Husavik, Iceland. For more information, email the museum at: phallus@phallus.is
